Break Time is Over!

So, lately I've been needing a break.


I've been feeling like I just need a break from all the trials, tribulations and persecutions of life. I needed a break from all my troubles. I needed a break from all my cares and worries.

But instead of "casting all my cares upon Him, because He cares for me...
And instead of being "anxious for nothing because my Father in Heaven knows what I have need of...

I kept complaining, muttering and declaring that I needed a break!

Here's what I got instead:

• Two broken shoes in one month - and I have never broken a shoe ever before,
• Two broken car windows that now won't roll down,
• I broken laptop that I gave away, and now have to use the broken desktop w/no sound card,
• A broken ring I inherited from my late mother-in-law that now has 2 missing diamonds,
• 1 broken earring,
• And most recently, 1 broken strap on my LV book bag,

 ...and all since August.

 

Well, now I declare: BREAK TIME IS OVER!

 

Mark 11:23 and 24 says: "For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be removed, and be cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he says shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he says. Therefore I say unto you, Whatsoever things you desire, when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you shall have them." Basically, we get what we say.

You know, we are created in the image of God our Creator. We are created in His likeness. And God SPOKE into being all that He created. By that same token, we too create our lives into being by what we say. Yes, our words have that much power. And when we say things like "That just kills me," or "That chaps my hide," or "That makes my blood boil," or "Give me a break," after time, we get what we say.

 

Well, break time is over! Besides, think about it - even at work, when you take a break, you simply take a momentary respite and go back to the exact same thing you were doing before the break. The concept is that we should step away from work to replenish, refresh and renew our energy and get back to it. It's time to do that with our words. We need to replenish our words with good instead of negative. We need to refresh our thinking and renew what we say. If we're going to "re-do" anything at all we should focus on RE-JOICING!

That's right, to rejoice means to refill our joy! And if we get what we say and we start speaking nothing but joy - what do you think our lives will become? JOYOUS! Instead of a break, say "I need some JOY!"


The end of Nehemiah 8:10 says, "the joy of the Lord is our strength." So, when you need strength to carry on; when you need strength to deal with your cares; when you need strength to ease your anxiety, you need to rejoice! That's what gives you strength.


Easier said than done, right?

 

Let me borrow a bit of teaching and pass it on to you... JOY is not an emotion. It is not a feeling. It is a power and a fundamental attribute of God. "In His presence is the fullness of joy." To get joy - or to rejoice, we must spend time in the presence of God. And not just through praise and worship, but actually by reveling in the holiness of His nature. Holiness is "wholeness" - revel in the wholeness of who God is.

I'll give you a hint. Here are the 7 attributes of God I have researched: God is TRUTH, Numbers 23:19; God is GRACIOUS and MERCIFUL, 2 Chronicles 30:9; God is MIGHTY, Job 36:5; God is RIGHTEOUS, Daniel 9:14; God is FAITHFUL, 1 Corinthians 1:9; God is GOOD, Matthew 19:17; God is LOVE, 1 John 4:8. God is Holy - and when we focus on the wholeness of who He is, we are focusing on His holiness.


Bask in who God is. Be still and know that He is God. Revel in His abilities: Creator; Savior; Provider; Healer; Bridegroom; King... Eat lavishly of the fruit of His nature: wisdom, joy, peace, power and hope. And guess what, since we are created in His image, we are created in the likeness of truth, grace, faith, love, wisdom, joy, peace, power and hope! Now that is a refreshing better than any coffee break!

 

Break time's over - speak your peace and REJOICE!

Power, love & peace, ya'll! (2 Tim. 1:7)
 ~Min. Dez

 

 

 

 

 

PROOF OF PURPOSE

© 2008 by Deidre Campbell-Jones

Message Topic: Purpose

Purpose: Jeremiah 29:11
Pointless: Proverbs 16:9

Ever since high school – maybe even as far back as the 4th grade, I suppose, I have had a desire to be special. Well, more specifically, to be thought of as special. I have wanted to be chosen for the team, picked for the solo, recognized for an accomplishment and desired as a friend.

And the reason I felt it necessary to clarify that it wasn’t just a matter of wanting to be special, but instead to be singled-out as special, is because all the while I did have attributes that were worthy, desirable, unique and even special, but not always quite good enough. All my encouragement and support seemed to be always followed by a “but…”

Maybe my personality was too loud, brash and crass but no one knew how to tell me. Maybe I was too selfish, too know-it-all, or too bossy but no one got a chance to tell me. Maybe I couldn’t really sing, couldn’t really dance or didn’t really have “it” and no one had the heart to tell me. Or maybe someone tried and I never really listened, never really heard or never actually believed it was true.

I confess all of this painfully and with much introspection for a purpose: all these circumstances and desires carried into my adult life; my job search; my career plans; and my self-esteem, and manifested as a complete lack of life purpose. Oh yeah, and the symptom of that lack of purpose was a deep, almost obsessive desire to be thought of or recognized as special.

Up until April of 2008 I was still searching for purpose. I hadn’t even completed my son’s baby book from the start of 2005 because I was stuck on “mother’s occupation.” Then I had a vision of that answer – and while I knew it was from God I didn’t know what the answer was. I made up my own mind and went in pursuit of what I thought it was – feeling like this finally might be the answer.

Along the way, while in pursuit of what I thought my purpose might be (or at least a fairly comfortable facsimile or substitution), God was faithful to reveal the truth to me: we all have a purpose. It is one designed by God and for His glory. He has given us talents, skills, trials, lessons and direction all throughout our lives that steer us toward that purpose, train us for it, prepare us for it and mold us for it. And in His season, in His time and according to His grace, He will bless us with gifts to be used specifically for that purpose as well.

Psalms 139:13-17 “For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knows right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in they book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! How great is the sum of them!”

God created us each individually. He created us before the world began. He fashioned our parts and how they would grow all the days of our lives, even before he made us. And He continually thinks about each individual He has created.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peach, and not evil, to give you an expected end.”

Those precious thoughts the Lord is thinking of unto us – those great sum of thoughts – are thoughts of peace, not evil. He wants nothing but good for our lives and those thoughts have an expected end – one God will give: we have a God given purpose.

We have purpose because God has intended it for us. But purpose is not destiny. We have a destiny – we have a divine destination. How could we have no destination even though God promises to be our guide? Proverbs 16:9 says, “A man’s heart devises his way: but the Lord directs his steps. How pointless would it be for God to direct our steps towards nowhere? There is a destination planned for us and it is up to us to follow it. There is no one, not even God who can keep us from our destiny except ourselves.

Remember when I said it was a vision that led me to my purpose? That purpose was realized on August 23rd when I received my license as a Minister of the Gospel. But the vision that started me on this path was a vision of my destiny. As God tries to lead me down the correct path I have already been swayed off-course by my own motivation, distraction, anxiety, doubt and desire to be special. Believe it or not, however, it has only been since August 23rd that I have realized and come to accept that I am extremely special, held in high-regard, blessed and highly favored by God Almighty and that it is sufficient – His grace upon my life is sufficient.

You see, I have minister friends and associates who say they have “run” from their calling. I continuously hear of Pastors who have “run” from their calling and in fact, didn’t even want a job as minister, pastor or even in the ministry at all. It has even been said of me that I was running from my calling as well. But the truth is I was running from one thing to the next, desperately in search of what my calling was.

I cannot and will not shy away from my calling or avoid it due to the trials and tribulations – even persecutions that are sure to come. I have been in search of a purpose for far too long to deny it or shy from it now. I have withstood far too many nasty trials and tribulations in search of this purpose to shrink away from it in awe of what will surely come. No matter how difficult and trying or even painful my new journey may be, I am thoroughly excited about my purpose, simply because I finally have one! It may be weird, or different or unusual for a Minister to feel this way but it doesn’t much matter. It’s just one more thing added to the list of what makes me special!

What about you? You don’t have to be called into the ministry, or even called to some career society deems as worthwhile to be considered special. Parent, student, counselor, teacher, receptionist, soldier, CEO, Trustee, analyst, executive, coach, cook, Pastor, PTA member, community leader, politician, activist, clerk, nurse, doctor or athlete; working, fired or retired – God designed you for a reason and for a purpose; either where you are, elsewhere or both.

It’s up to you to trust that God wants and has the very best in store for you. Believe that He IS and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek him – and then seek Him according to Matthew 6:33. Ask for what you have not – including Wisdom and understanding and commit all your ways unto Him (Proverbs 16:3).

God knows you are special and I think so too. Do you?

Power, Love & Peace ya'll!
~Min. Dez

PAY TO PLAY

© 2008 by Deidre Campbell-Jones

Message Topic: Pay

Get robbed: Malachi 3:8
Get paid: Malachi 3:11

Lately the subject of “tithes” has been heavy in my study, my teaching at church and my Bishop’s teaching as well. It seems that this economy is dredging up some deeply heartfelt issues we Christians (and some non-Christians) have regarding tithing and it is exposing some ugly truths about the matter as well.

Now I cannot say this has only happened to me at my church, but it truly has happened to me at every church I have been to or even visited in which the sermon topic was “tithing” - and that's guilt. Usually when I hear a sermon on tithing I feel guilty as if I am guilty of doing something wrong – even though I have been a fairly consistent tither through the majority of my Christian walk.

It seems as if preachers and pastors sense there is a problem with the parishioners but their choice of resolution is to continue beating us over the head with Malachi 3:8. “Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed Me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed Thee? In tithes and offerings.” Malachi 3:9 goes on to say “Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed Me, even this whole nation.”

Yes, the bible is plain – when we withhold our tithes and offerings we rob God. And when we rob God we are cursed with a curse – plain and simple. It is the ugly, guilt-ridden truth. And when I’ve been guilty, I have been guilty no doubt about it. But does calling a liar a liar stop him from lying? And if you call someone a liar who is telling the truth does that make them a liar after all? No – and that’s why Malachi 3:10 goes on with the promises so many of us are familiar with but still can’t seem to consistently get it together.

“Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in Mine house, and prove Me now herewith, saith the Lord of host, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.” Now admittedly, even when I tithe regularly, there still seems to be times when this promise eludes me and I wonder if I’m doing something “wrong.” I have even (recently) felt so seriously that the enemy must have wormed his way into my checking account and stolen away my money that I closed down the account altogether.

That was when God began to dispel some myths and some curses for me as well. I want to do the same for you, but it comes with a warning: (in the alleged words of Maya Angelou) “When you know better, you do better.” And when you know better you are accountable for what you know. God has indeed blessed me through my tithes when I didn’t have a clue that I was robbing Him and thought I was a faithful and cheerful tither, but once I was convicted of a deeper understanding I was held responsible for the actions associated with that deeper understanding. So, if you want a deeper understanding of tithes, keep reading. But if you stop here – that doesn’t necessarily mean you can keep on keeping on and keep thinking you’ll be blessed!

We’ll start with “bring ye all the tithes.” Many, many teachers and preachers teach that a “tithe” is 1 (one) tenth of your income or increase. Actually tithe is the FIRST tenth of your increase. Go back to Malachi 3:4 “Then shall the offering of Judah and Jerusalem be pleasant unto the Lord, as in the days of old, and as in former years.” In “former years,” and even when Abraham paid tithes of all he had to the High Priest Malchezidek in recognition of the Covenant Promise given to him and all his seed (us), a tithe was the “Firstfruit.”

God made all first things holy: First born sons, first born lambs, the first of all harvest and the first of all increase. And if the part is holy, the whole lump is holy. Our first fruit is a holy, devoted and consecrated thing. It is set apart by God as being His and being Holy unto Him. That first tenth sanctifies the rest and makes the rest Holy – or redeems that which it has been redeemed unto. Did I lose you?

Ok, when you get your check you either deposit it or have it direct deposited into your account. And, usually when you get cash it goes into your wallet for spending. Some of us take that cash and put aside our tithes right away. I would calculate my tenth in my mind and “designate” that amount to give in church but I wouldn’t necessarily set it aside physically.

Here’s what happens: when it comes time to pay the bills there are two kinds of tithers. One will pay all the bills and pay tithe on the balance. The other will calculate the tithe amount and pay all the bills with the rest. Then when Sunday comes they write a check to the church for their designated tithe amount. (That was me.)

All of us are robbing God when we pay our tithes like this. Because, if we pay AT&T first, or the housekeeper or DWP or bought groceries, we have just consecrated the first fruits of our increase to the phone, Merry Maids, the electricity or Albertson’s. And unfortunately because none of those entities died for our sins, our money which is no longer redeemed towards our Covenant Promise, cannot unlock the promises of God in our lives. Now are you with me? I hope so, but I’m going to take it one step further, so hang in there…

Jesus died for our sins, right? And we believe in Him by faith, right? Through that faith we are the seed of Abraham - Galatians 3:7: Know ye therefore that they which are of faith, the same are the children of Abraham. And Abraham and all his seed was given the Covenant Promise. Now then, Jesus is the lamb of God, right? He is The First Fruit – the Lamb with out blemish that died to redeem us from our sins. When we consecrate our first fruits unto God, it redeems the rest just as Christ redeemed us. When we pay our tithes into the storehouse of God that there might be meat in His house, it redeems the rest of our money that there might be meat in our house. Are you back with me now? Great, then we’re moving on…

Now let’s look up “will a man rob God.” I looked up the word “rob” in the bible concordance because all the preachers and deacons say “You are stealing from God!” But the bible defines stealing as thievery. It is to take in secret, to closet away and hide in private something that doesn’t belong to you.

Robbing, however, is defined as a mugging. It involves bodily harm and is includes the concept of being “held up.” We are holding up God, tying up His hands and locking up His ability to open up the windows of heaven and release our blessings when we do not tithe or tithe accurately. And the only individuals we are stealing from is ourselves.

The California state lottery has a saying: “You’ve got to be in it to win it.” Well, regarding the promises of God, I say: you’ve got to pay, to play! Pay your tithes, yes! But set aside the first of what you make – consecrate it as holy and the rest will be made holy. I challenge you to create a new system in which you pay your tithes first no matter how or when you get paid.

God put it best this way when He said, “prove Me” or test Me. He is telling us to challenge Him according to His promises. And if we do, He goes on to promise that the curse we are cursed with will be removed when He – God himself – will rebuke the devourer (Malachi 3:11).

Oh, yes, there it is – I was right about my bank account all along! When we tithe “as in the days of old,” it is so pleasing to the Lord that He will rebuke the enemy so that he (the enemy who comes to steal, kill and destroy) “will not destroy the fruits of our ground; neither shall our vine cast her fruit before their time and all nations shall call us blessed.”

The enemy ain’t playin’ but I am! I will pay to play with all my tithes and offerings!

THE LATE SHOW

© 2008 by Deidre Campbell-Jones

Message Topic: Procrastination

Slothful: Proverbs 18:9
Diligent: Proverbs 12:24

Have you ever been low on gas – really low – and figured you could make it to a cheaper station, only to run out blocks before you got there? No, huh?

Have you ever had a bill to pay and put it aside until more money came in so you could pay it, only to forget about until after the late penalties had been assessed? Not you?

Have you ever had a fix-it ticket that was minor and fixable, that you put off getting signed off until you were conveniently in the area, only to find it had turned into a warrant by the time you got to the DMV? Never happened to you?

And did you ever delay responding to an email (or call), waiting until you had more time to write (or talk) at length, only to find out they had received their answer from someone else once you got back to them? No, not that either?

It can’t only be me! And if it’s not just me, then listen up – either we are, or we are related to someone who is a big waste of time, effort and money! Well… kind of. Throughout these and similar situations we have wasted money, wasted time and wasted opportunities to be a blessing to someone’s life because of our procrastination.

Proverbs 18:9 says, “He also that is slothful in his work is brother to him that is a great waster.” When we are lazy about the things we must do, we end up wasting a great deal such as: the extra time to walk the few blocks to the gas station and back; the extra money to buy a gas can or pay late fees or an extra word here and there to build a relationship and be an example of Christ in our lives.

It is a strain and a tedious effort upon our lives when we are always living on the back end of procrastination. The situations in need of rectifying are always worse than if we’d handled the matter right away. The extra effort is a burden. Or you could say we are “taxed” by the efforts. Proverbs 12:24 explains it this way: “The hand of the diligent shall bear rule: but the slothful shall be under tribute.”

Now the opposite is said to be true for those who get it done, don’t waste time and manage their duties efficiently. Proverbs 13:4 “The soul of the sluggard desires and has nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat.”

The soul of this sluggard is covetous. We always think of covetousness as desiring something someone else has. But when you obsessively desire what you don’t have – a better life; a better job; a better spouse (or one at all); a better house; better behaved kids; better relationships, or whatever – you are wasting the time to acquire those things by desiring them. And that kind of desire or wanting is covetous.

Usually my procrastination is due to waiting for or wanting something better: I’m looking for a better price; a better time; or a better opportunity. But when I’m waiting on “better” I’m only waiting on “the late show.” And when you constantly live at “the late show” your blessings will consistently be a “no show.” But the life of the diligent is full, happy, content and blessed – overflowing and in need, or want of nothing.

You’ve got a life to live TODAY! Don’t put it off any longer. It’s time to stop wasting what you don’t have and start getting what you want. So stop reading this study and get to it!

BONDAGE

© 2008 by Deidre Campbell-Jones

JULY Theme: Freedom

Bondage: John 8:32-36
Freedom: Proverbs 3:5

Again last month, I missed the last lesson in the series on Fathers. I had been diligently working on my book and on that Friday it was finally completed and had the printer’s final approval for publication. My proof copy had been ordered, the book was made available on Amazon.com, and I was ecstatic! I felt so free from that months-long project that I absolutely forgot about the Friday bible study.

Then as the next week as the 4th of July began to approach I knew I wanted to begin a series on “freedom”. How appropriate I thought the messages would be not only for this time of year, but also for this exciting new time in my life. But by Friday, no words or thoughts would come.

And it is truly not as if I procrastinated or purposely delayed the writing of the message because nothing was coming to me, but instead I was truly busy. You see, the writing of my book was not the end of the project I have been working on. In fact, it is truly the beginning. It is to be the start of a series of speaking presentations and the first on is scheduled this coming Friday, the 10th in Sacramento, CA. Once I completed the book I really didn’t have the time to rest and rejoice as if the project was over, because there was so much more to do.

But in my heart, that was just an excuse. Physically, my time and all my activities in life are a slave to the production of this event on the 10th. I am in bondage to the successful completion of this awesome task before me. However, spiritually, I am also a slave and in bondage to the Lord, whom I believe has given me this ultimate task. And as of late, I have been in such turmoil that indeed, writing about “freedom” seems nearly impossible. Generally I feel I can only teach that which I have learned.

John 8:32 – “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” But a person cannot be “made” free if they are already free. Only those in bondage can be freed. And in fact, that was the very next question the disciples asked of Jesus when he made this statement in verse 32. They said, “We are descendants of Abraham! We have never been in bondage to any man! How can you say you will set us free?”

His disciples had been living their whole lives as if they were free and never once knew that they were in bondage; slaves and not actually free. I was in bondage to the completion of that book and for a moment, when it was done, I forgot that I was not actually free.

And in my salvation, in this walk with God, I have had many, many experiences when I have felt such freedom, that it has not been until this project that I realized, I am not yet entirely free indeed. In John 8:36, Jesus completes the answer to the disciples question about being bondage with this statement: “If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.” Of course, I felt freedom from my sins when I first came to Christ. And along the way as I have grown and grown closer to God I have felt more and more free.

Only through Christ does the idea of “surrender” bring freedom. In war when an opposing enemy surrenders, they become voluntary prisoners. There is no physical freedom until the war is over. But through Christ, to surrender to Him means a complete abandonment of that which you are surrendering and the freedom in that is intoxicating! Most of the time…

It seems the hardest thing I have yet to abandon to God is not my life; my sin; my money; my family or even my soul – it is my understanding. Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.” I have an understanding that God has directed me to write this book and do these presentations. I have had a fundamental understanding as to how to accomplish those goals. In the end, my understanding of how to write and publish a book, had very little to do with the writing and publishing of that book.

Any reasonable human being would surmise that the same would apply to the events. In other words, God wanted me to write a book; He made it possible for me to write the book and the book was written. There was freedom in abandoning that process to God and the reward was freedom indeed. Ask me if I’ll write another book and I’ll eagerly respond in the affirmative.

These events currently are a different matter. It seems that I cannot release myself to God’s understanding. My turmoil is that my understanding of the matter makes the successful completion of them (and Sacramento in particular) an absolute impossibility. As I look at the matter by sight and not by faith, it is frightening to lean not unto my own understanding. It would mean a complete abandonment of all that is reasonable, logical and possible according to my own understanding.

And so, until such a time as the Son makes me free, I am indeed still in bondage.

Yesterday was Independence Day. Many of us hung out with friends, ate BBQ, played in the sunshine, swam in pools and enjoyed extraordinary fireworks. We may have heard patriotic songs like the National Anthem, God Bless America and America the Beautiful. We may have even seen or participated in a memorial for our veterans and the current soldiers still away at war. But I wonder how few of the majority actually took time to fiercely consider and acknowledge our freedoms – nationally, individually and especially spiritually.

I didn’t. I am still in bondage. And when the Son sets me free, I will then be free indeed. To be continued…

It's Here!!

Finally, it is finished!

My first full-length, Christian Life Coaching book is finished!

And I have to give all credit and glory to the Lord, my Father in Heaven who wanted this book written in the first place! Without the power of the Holy Ghost I'm sure I'd be crying in my closet somewhere!

To order this title, check out my publisher supported EStore

To order other titles by my publisher, Destination Publications check out my temporary page

"Soon" the official Destination Publications web site will be available. I'll give you the link now, so you can keep checking back.

ALL (100%) of the proceeds from Father, Brother, Lover, Friend: Finding "The One" remain with Destination Publications and the parent non-profit company Destination Christian Services, Inc. to cover our "A.I.M. 4 Kenya" Missionary project which sends personal care items, customized study booklets and purchases bibles for refugee women and teens in Nairobi, Kenya through the Angaza International Ministries and Pastor Isaac Andeche.

Currently we are trying to ship two 35lb boxes of supplies over for $200 each. If you would like to donate please see our charitable giving site: Hip2Give

Finally, the book is the primary subject matter for the "Relationship of Love" tour - coming to a city in a state near you throughout 2009 & 2010. To find a tour near you, purchase tickets, buy the book or find out about prizes and gifts check out my personal ministry site: GetLifeRightNow!

The first date is July 10, 2009 at the Sacramento Convention Center!!

Please pray for me...

Power, love & peace -

~Min. Dez

HAPPY FATHERS TODAY

© 2008 by Deidre Campbell-Jones

JUNE Theme: Fathers

Old Fathers: Ephesians 6:4
New Fathers: Luke 3:22

I don’t ordinarily do this, but today I am attempting to plagiarize someone else’s Father’s Day message.

On the radio Friday morning, while on the way to downtown Los Angeles, I was reminded that I’d forgotten to do the bible study that morning by an insightful and thought provoking Father’s Day message that I had tuned into. I happen to come in at the tail end of the message and so the truth is I do not know what the program was, or the name of that particular message, and I believe the speaker was “Pastor Jeffery” – with Jeffery being his last name.

I apologize in advance for this being the only recognition I can give him for such a powerful message. So powerful in fact, that I cannot resist sharing it. And I share it again to you all (as I did on Mother’s Day), not just to those who are Fathers, but especially to all of us who have or have had a Father.

Pastor Jeffery’s own father, apparently was a very well known and beloved Theologian – who just so happened was gruff, critical and had difficulty expressing any affection to his son. All the praise and kind words Pastor Jeffery got from his father came from his father’s students and peers who would often say, “Your father is so proud of you – he speaks highly of you and he talks about you all the time.” To which, of course, Pastor Jeffery would respond, “I wish he’d tell me that himself.”

As his father got older and Pastor Jeffery attempted to become closer to his Dad – and even, he said, to “teach him how to hug,” his Dad only made little progress in the area of praise and affection. So much so that while on his death bed, elder Jeffery told his son he loved him, and Pastor Jeffery’s first thought was, “Please God, don’t let him take it back and negate it like he has done every other time, and then die.” Pastor Jeffery was rewarded – his father never did retract or negate that statement before he died the very next morning.

From years of ministry in relation to his own experiences Pastor Jeffery has come to the conclusion that, while he knew without a doubt that his father loved him dearly, there seems to be a generational issue wherein men of his father’s age bracket and older all seem to “suffer” from the same malady in regards to their children – not just sons. He has determined in his heart and in the lives of his own children that he will (and has I might say) break the cycle.

His example, unfortunately, comes from no other male figure. His plan of action is not even born of a desire to provide what he had been missing – that is only his motivation. Pastor Jeffery’s example comes from God Himself. Ephesians 6:4 says, “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Pastor Jeffery says, that fathers need to be aware that there is that possibility that they might push too hard.

Yes, the admonition is on us as children that we must honor our mothers and fathers. “Children obey they parents in the Lord.” Yes, we get it. But the admonition of Ephesians 6:4 says nothing in regard to the wrath a child might experience – it does not say, children do not become wrathful, but instead it speaks to the fathers. Careful – be careful that you do not push your children into anger and wrath. But instead, nurture and admonish them.

Many dads have the “admonishment” part down easy – somehow that comes naturally to them. And, it could very well be because of the example they had. However they come by it, all who have had the problem of provoking their children have done so because “nurturing” has been seemingly left out of the equation.

”Nurturing” is often associated with motherhood. It is rare – even today – for men to be considered nurturing. And Ephesians does not state that children should be brought up in “nurturing admonition” but instead, the word of God separates the two: the nurture AND admonition of the Lord.

And so, we have all experienced the admonition of the Lord. We have been chastised in Him, corrected and directed with a firm and reproving Godly hand. Still, many of us still equate God’s blessings as a sign of God’s approval. This statement is from me: God’s abundance of blessings in our lives is not a sign of how much He loves us, but instead they are a sign of how much we love God.

According to Pastor Jeffery, God showed the example of how to nurture a child through Luke 3:22 “And the Holy Ghost descended in a bodily shape like a dove upon him, and a voice came from heaven, which said, Thou art my beloved Son; in thee I am well pleased.” Even Jesus needed love and recognition from His Father. And it was public and it was verbal and it was accompanied by a physical touch. The Holy Ghost descended in a bodily shape like a dove, upon him. The dove has long since been a symbol of love, peace and hope, and every touch we as parents give our children must be representative of love, peace and hope as well.

Pastor Jeffery made a commitment that the buck stopped with him. His decision was this: no matter how you were raised, no matter what your father was or was not capable of we are responsible for our own reactions. And, no matter how we’ve been in the past, it is never too late to start. He was given a gift upon his father’s passing. It was the kind and loving words of praise that now could last him for a lifetime. And even though he waited until he was an adult to hear them, it was still just as meaningful and necessary in his life. It is never too late to start.

And if by chance it is too late for you to receive this kind of approval from your father, be comforted as Pastor Jeffery was. You see, long before his father finally told him that he was loved, Pastor Jeffery had made peace with his dad.

Pastor Jeffery tallied up all the things he’d learned from his dad and in spite of his dad and the sum of them made up the man he had grown to be and he recognized fatherly love in that truth. Some of it was his earthly father’s love and some of it was his heavenly Father’s love that thought enough of a man to nurture him and even admonish him when his own father couldn’t.

God has our very best at heart and some of it is administered directly through our dads and some of it is given in spite of our dads, but we honor them and love them just the same. Children love your dads today. Dads, love your children today. No matter where they are, no matter what the past has been, today is never too late to love.

Power, love & peace, ya'll -
~Min. Dez