© 2008 by Deidre Campbell-Jones
JUNE Theme: Fathers
Old Fathers: Ephesians 6:4
New Fathers: Luke 3:22
I don’t ordinarily do this, but today I am attempting to plagiarize someone else’s Father’s Day message.
On the radio Friday morning, while on the way to downtown Los Angeles, I was reminded that I’d forgotten to do the bible study that morning by an insightful and thought provoking Father’s Day message that I had tuned into. I happen to come in at the tail end of the message and so the truth is I do not know what the program was, or the name of that particular message, and I believe the speaker was “Pastor Jeffery” – with Jeffery being his last name.
I apologize in advance for this being the only recognition I can give him for such a powerful message. So powerful in fact, that I cannot resist sharing it. And I share it again to you all (as I did on Mother’s Day), not just to those who are Fathers, but especially to all of us who have or have had a Father.
Pastor Jeffery’s own father, apparently was a very well known and beloved Theologian – who just so happened was gruff, critical and had difficulty expressing any affection to his son. All the praise and kind words Pastor Jeffery got from his father came from his father’s students and peers who would often say, “Your father is so proud of you – he speaks highly of you and he talks about you all the time.” To which, of course, Pastor Jeffery would respond, “I wish he’d tell me that himself.”
As his father got older and Pastor Jeffery attempted to become closer to his Dad – and even, he said, to “teach him how to hug,” his Dad only made little progress in the area of praise and affection. So much so that while on his death bed, elder Jeffery told his son he loved him, and Pastor Jeffery’s first thought was, “Please God, don’t let him take it back and negate it like he has done every other time, and then die.” Pastor Jeffery was rewarded – his father never did retract or negate that statement before he died the very next morning.
From years of ministry in relation to his own experiences Pastor Jeffery has come to the conclusion that, while he knew without a doubt that his father loved him dearly, there seems to be a generational issue wherein men of his father’s age bracket and older all seem to “suffer” from the same malady in regards to their children – not just sons. He has determined in his heart and in the lives of his own children that he will (and has I might say) break the cycle.
His example, unfortunately, comes from no other male figure. His plan of action is not even born of a desire to provide what he had been missing – that is only his motivation. Pastor Jeffery’s example comes from God Himself. Ephesians 6:4 says, “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Pastor Jeffery says, that fathers need to be aware that there is that possibility that they might push too hard.
Yes, the admonition is on us as children that we must honor our mothers and fathers. “Children obey they parents in the Lord.” Yes, we get it. But the admonition of Ephesians 6:4 says nothing in regard to the wrath a child might experience – it does not say, children do not become wrathful, but instead it speaks to the fathers. Careful – be careful that you do not push your children into anger and wrath. But instead, nurture and admonish them.
Many dads have the “admonishment” part down easy – somehow that comes naturally to them. And, it could very well be because of the example they had. However they come by it, all who have had the problem of provoking their children have done so because “nurturing” has been seemingly left out of the equation.
”Nurturing” is often associated with motherhood. It is rare – even today – for men to be considered nurturing. And Ephesians does not state that children should be brought up in “nurturing admonition” but instead, the word of God separates the two: the nurture AND admonition of the Lord.
And so, we have all experienced the admonition of the Lord. We have been chastised in Him, corrected and directed with a firm and reproving Godly hand. Still, many of us still equate God’s blessings as a sign of God’s approval. This statement is from me: God’s abundance of blessings in our lives is not a sign of how much He loves us, but instead they are a sign of how much we love God.
According to Pastor Jeffery, God showed the example of how to nurture a child through Luke 3:22 “And the Holy Ghost descended in a bodily shape like a dove upon him, and a voice came from heaven, which said, Thou art my beloved Son; in thee I am well pleased.” Even Jesus needed love and recognition from His Father. And it was public and it was verbal and it was accompanied by a physical touch. The Holy Ghost descended in a bodily shape like a dove, upon him. The dove has long since been a symbol of love, peace and hope, and every touch we as parents give our children must be representative of love, peace and hope as well.
Pastor Jeffery made a commitment that the buck stopped with him. His decision was this: no matter how you were raised, no matter what your father was or was not capable of we are responsible for our own reactions. And, no matter how we’ve been in the past, it is never too late to start. He was given a gift upon his father’s passing. It was the kind and loving words of praise that now could last him for a lifetime. And even though he waited until he was an adult to hear them, it was still just as meaningful and necessary in his life. It is never too late to start.
And if by chance it is too late for you to receive this kind of approval from your father, be comforted as Pastor Jeffery was. You see, long before his father finally told him that he was loved, Pastor Jeffery had made peace with his dad.
Pastor Jeffery tallied up all the things he’d learned from his dad and in spite of his dad and the sum of them made up the man he had grown to be and he recognized fatherly love in that truth. Some of it was his earthly father’s love and some of it was his heavenly Father’s love that thought enough of a man to nurture him and even admonish him when his own father couldn’t.
God has our very best at heart and some of it is administered directly through our dads and some of it is given in spite of our dads, but we honor them and love them just the same. Children love your dads today. Dads, love your children today. No matter where they are, no matter what the past has been, today is never too late to love.
Power, love & peace, ya'll -
~Min. Dez
Showing posts with label fathers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fathers. Show all posts
Monday, June 22, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
MY TWO DADS
© 2008 by Deidre Campbell-Jones
JUNE Theme: Fathers
E. Father: Matthew 5:48
H. Father: Matthew 7:11
So often though, we treat God either the way we think He will treat us, or in the way we think our earthly fathers treat us. We are reluctant to pray, and reluctant to ask for anything because we’ve already assumed the answer. If we are used to a harsh father who never freely gives us anything, we may automatically expect our Heavenly Father to react the same. If we’re used to a father who requires we work for everything, we’ll feel we have to work for our blessings from God. And if we feel undeserving of anything from our earthly father, we may not even ask of anything from our Heavenly Father.
But God’s love towards us is far beyond how our own fathers might treat us. In fact, it is more like (and actually far surpasses) the way in which we would (or think we would, or would want to) treat our own child. In fact, Matthew 5:48: “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect,” is an example of how to be the kind of parent God wants us to be – and not to be the kind of parent we think He is to us.
But for many of us, our acceptance of God or our relationship with God is based upon our relationship with our father. Again, we relate to God through the filter of how we relate to our earthly relationships. And when we are given the concept of our Father in heaven, we have no choice but to consciously or subconsciously compare that to what we know about earthly fathers in general or our own father specifically.
And it most certainly is not that God treats us in the same manner that our own fathers do that we misunderstand what he is to be to us, but instead it is because we treat God as if He will treat us the way we expect our earthly fathers to.
Some fathers try to buy their children’s love. Some children grow up thinking God is a magical genie – the end all be all and ultimate giver of heavenly blessings and material gifts. They go to God always wanting, always expecting always asking… for things. And when God doesn’t deliver, it is an instant sign that God doesn’t love them, or God doesn’t exist.
Of course, some fathers are absent, disconnected or negligent. And some children grow up to be adults who are sure there is no God. And if there is – that God is not thinking about them as an individual. They are sure they will have no prayers answered and quite possibly that God won’t even hear them. Somehow they are unworthy of forgiveness, unworthy of a relationship with a heavenly Father and unworthy or undeserving of His love.
Some fathers are only good for play time. They are practical jokers, good buddies and fair weather friends. And some children grow into adulthood and cannot take the concept of a heavenly father seriously. Come on – you must be kidding. There is no God that is going to listen to my problems, share in my grief and sorrow, wipe my tears away and care for my burdens that I cast upon Him. Instead, God is an ever present spirit – a light and ethereal being and creator of wonderful things like sunshine and puppies who is no more potent, powerful or real than a fairy in a nursery rhyme.
Some fathers are strict disciplinarians who cannot show love but only show correction and even disappointment or dissatisfaction. They rule with an iron fist and can barely crack a smile. Some children grow up to be adults who treat God as if He’s only comparing them to a heavenly list of “rights and wrongs”. They feel as if they’ll never measure up to what God expects of them. The concept of a loving, affectionate father in heaven is foreign, even impossible to conceive of, let alone accept. They feel unworthy, inept, dirty and too shameful to come to God. And unfortunately most Christians don’t help. Far too often it is easier to point out the sin of a sinner instead of just loving a person in spite of their sins and our own.
No one can come to a God whom they think is only going to condemn them to hell. And so they will not come at all – they will not ask for anything, they will not trust in a heavenly father and quite possibly out of rebellion they will not submit to a heavenly father.
And still other fathers are kind and caring, affectionate and giving – they discipline with love and love very nearly unconditionally. And some children grow up to be adults who are not afraid to go to God with their problems and they can trust a God that promises to see them through. They can take their chastisement for their growth and their unconditional love with gratitude, thanksgiving and praise.
No matter what kind of Earthly father we’ve had, this is the kind of Heavenly Father we have and should get to know. He wants us to know Him for who he really is and not who we think He is or make Him out to be – according to what is comfortable for us. God is love and therefore God’s love is perfect.
Matthew 7:11: “If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?”
Whatever we are seeking in a Heavenly Father, God will not let us down – in fact, He will surpass our every desire. But He cannot do that so long as we assume His character, motivations and determine the quality of the gifts He gives. And the only way to keep from making those assumptions is to get to know the Father for yourself.
That means study, prayer and meditation. Studying the word of God let’s us know who God is and what kind of relationship He wants to have with us, but our relationship is not with the book or the pages therein. Our relationship must be built the same as any other Earthly relationship – through communication and time.
Most everyone who has had a good relationship with their Earthly fathers will say they did because of the quality time they spent together, the things their fathers taught them and the conversations they shared. The relationship was mutually beneficial and enjoyable. So should be our relationship with God the Father. And prayer is our only form of communicating with Him. It is the way we talk to Him.
Unfortunately, many of us do not bother to find out if He is listening. I know I didn’t. For the longest time I thought meditation was some Eastern religious practice and taboo for Christians. Joshua1:8 says, “This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.” In other words, we can’t just talk about what God will do for us and the promises of His word, we must meditate on the Word, and when we do, God will speak to us. That is how we build a tow-way communication with God. That is how we build a mutually beneficial and enjoyable relationship with our Heavenly Father.
As Father’s Day approaches, consider spending time to build and strengthen the relationship with your Earthly Father and your Heavenly Father too.
Note: Portions of this study were taken from my book: Father, Brother, Lover, Friend: Finding “The One” to be released June 15, 2009 (God willing!)
Wishing you all power, love & peace! (2 Timothy 1:7)
~"Min. Dez"
JUNE Theme: Fathers
E. Father: Matthew 5:48
H. Father: Matthew 7:11
So often though, we treat God either the way we think He will treat us, or in the way we think our earthly fathers treat us. We are reluctant to pray, and reluctant to ask for anything because we’ve already assumed the answer. If we are used to a harsh father who never freely gives us anything, we may automatically expect our Heavenly Father to react the same. If we’re used to a father who requires we work for everything, we’ll feel we have to work for our blessings from God. And if we feel undeserving of anything from our earthly father, we may not even ask of anything from our Heavenly Father.
But God’s love towards us is far beyond how our own fathers might treat us. In fact, it is more like (and actually far surpasses) the way in which we would (or think we would, or would want to) treat our own child. In fact, Matthew 5:48: “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect,” is an example of how to be the kind of parent God wants us to be – and not to be the kind of parent we think He is to us.
But for many of us, our acceptance of God or our relationship with God is based upon our relationship with our father. Again, we relate to God through the filter of how we relate to our earthly relationships. And when we are given the concept of our Father in heaven, we have no choice but to consciously or subconsciously compare that to what we know about earthly fathers in general or our own father specifically.
And it most certainly is not that God treats us in the same manner that our own fathers do that we misunderstand what he is to be to us, but instead it is because we treat God as if He will treat us the way we expect our earthly fathers to.
Some fathers try to buy their children’s love. Some children grow up thinking God is a magical genie – the end all be all and ultimate giver of heavenly blessings and material gifts. They go to God always wanting, always expecting always asking… for things. And when God doesn’t deliver, it is an instant sign that God doesn’t love them, or God doesn’t exist.
Of course, some fathers are absent, disconnected or negligent. And some children grow up to be adults who are sure there is no God. And if there is – that God is not thinking about them as an individual. They are sure they will have no prayers answered and quite possibly that God won’t even hear them. Somehow they are unworthy of forgiveness, unworthy of a relationship with a heavenly Father and unworthy or undeserving of His love.
Some fathers are only good for play time. They are practical jokers, good buddies and fair weather friends. And some children grow into adulthood and cannot take the concept of a heavenly father seriously. Come on – you must be kidding. There is no God that is going to listen to my problems, share in my grief and sorrow, wipe my tears away and care for my burdens that I cast upon Him. Instead, God is an ever present spirit – a light and ethereal being and creator of wonderful things like sunshine and puppies who is no more potent, powerful or real than a fairy in a nursery rhyme.
Some fathers are strict disciplinarians who cannot show love but only show correction and even disappointment or dissatisfaction. They rule with an iron fist and can barely crack a smile. Some children grow up to be adults who treat God as if He’s only comparing them to a heavenly list of “rights and wrongs”. They feel as if they’ll never measure up to what God expects of them. The concept of a loving, affectionate father in heaven is foreign, even impossible to conceive of, let alone accept. They feel unworthy, inept, dirty and too shameful to come to God. And unfortunately most Christians don’t help. Far too often it is easier to point out the sin of a sinner instead of just loving a person in spite of their sins and our own.
No one can come to a God whom they think is only going to condemn them to hell. And so they will not come at all – they will not ask for anything, they will not trust in a heavenly father and quite possibly out of rebellion they will not submit to a heavenly father.
And still other fathers are kind and caring, affectionate and giving – they discipline with love and love very nearly unconditionally. And some children grow up to be adults who are not afraid to go to God with their problems and they can trust a God that promises to see them through. They can take their chastisement for their growth and their unconditional love with gratitude, thanksgiving and praise.
No matter what kind of Earthly father we’ve had, this is the kind of Heavenly Father we have and should get to know. He wants us to know Him for who he really is and not who we think He is or make Him out to be – according to what is comfortable for us. God is love and therefore God’s love is perfect.
Matthew 7:11: “If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?”
Whatever we are seeking in a Heavenly Father, God will not let us down – in fact, He will surpass our every desire. But He cannot do that so long as we assume His character, motivations and determine the quality of the gifts He gives. And the only way to keep from making those assumptions is to get to know the Father for yourself.
That means study, prayer and meditation. Studying the word of God let’s us know who God is and what kind of relationship He wants to have with us, but our relationship is not with the book or the pages therein. Our relationship must be built the same as any other Earthly relationship – through communication and time.
Most everyone who has had a good relationship with their Earthly fathers will say they did because of the quality time they spent together, the things their fathers taught them and the conversations they shared. The relationship was mutually beneficial and enjoyable. So should be our relationship with God the Father. And prayer is our only form of communicating with Him. It is the way we talk to Him.
Unfortunately, many of us do not bother to find out if He is listening. I know I didn’t. For the longest time I thought meditation was some Eastern religious practice and taboo for Christians. Joshua1:8 says, “This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.” In other words, we can’t just talk about what God will do for us and the promises of His word, we must meditate on the Word, and when we do, God will speak to us. That is how we build a tow-way communication with God. That is how we build a mutually beneficial and enjoyable relationship with our Heavenly Father.
As Father’s Day approaches, consider spending time to build and strengthen the relationship with your Earthly Father and your Heavenly Father too.
Note: Portions of this study were taken from my book: Father, Brother, Lover, Friend: Finding “The One” to be released June 15, 2009 (God willing!)
Wishing you all power, love & peace! (2 Timothy 1:7)
~"Min. Dez"
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